Recently I went back to my hometown of Jupiter, Florida. We moved there when I was about 5 so I consider it my hometown. I started first grade there, I graduated from high school there. It's where I learned to drive, had my first job, my first kiss, fell in love and got married. Shortly after my husband and I got married we moved to Kissimmee, Florida and lived there until 1995 when after my husband had a stroke and we had sold our house we moved back to Jupiter to live with my father. We lived there until we thought we would follow a dream of living in North Carolina, where my husband is from. In 1997 we moved and being on my own with a disabled husband and two small children was very hard. There were times when I really regretted moving. I had my father to help me before, but now I was on my own. What was I thinking?
Well, my father died in 1998 and the last time I was in Jupiter was to pick up the pieces of his life he left behind and get the house emptied out and sold. This trip that I just took this past month was the first time since then I have been back. My sister still lives there as do many friends. I was scared of going back, always making excuses and stalling about going back. You see, my dad had asked me to stay with him until he passed away, but I didn't. I always regretted that, but I am coming to terms with it.
We went back mainly to go to the wedding of my daughter's best friend from there. I couldn't back out. It was with great anxiety that I pushed forward, even though I made subtle hints about not going. When we got there, the very next day I swallowed hard and drove past my childhood home where the last time I was there, my sister and I still owned our parent's home. We sold his house to the neighbors kid whom we grew up with so it is like it is still in the family. It wasn't as bad as I had anticipated and actually a wave of relief came over me. This big huge monster that was staring me in the face for so many years had turned into a little mouse. I had friends of my father's say that I shouldn't regret not staying. That God has things planned for us and like my mom always said, "everything always works out for the best."
It has been an emotional trip and I am ready to go back again, although I am NOT going to wait another 14 years to go back.
